Tuesday, February 15, 2011

What Not to Say to a Mom with a Seriously or Terminally Ill Child

I came across this article today by Rachel Carpenter http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1645757/what_not_to_say_to_a_mom_with_a_seriously_pg3.html?cat=25 and it is so true. These are things you should not say to a mom of a seriously ill child.
#1 "No matters what happens. it's God's will. [sic]"
#2 "I just know he/she will get better."
#3 "Are you needing help?"
#4 "I know exactly how you feel. My baby was in the hospital with RSV last year."
#5 "I had a friend go through this too. It was really tough for them, and now the child has lifelong disabilities."
#6 "I just don't know how you do it."
#7 "You need to relax. You need to be strong for your other children."

I definately get #6 a lot. I don't know how I do it either. Many days I want to stay in bed and pull the covers over my head, but I can't. There are feedings to do, appointments to make and go to, and kids to feed. If I looked pulled together it is because I rely on Diet Dr. Pepper and try really hard not to cry in front of my kids.

Occasionally, I get #3, and as the article points out, it is difficult to say 'yes' to the phrasing of that particular question. YES! YES! I always need help. It is horrible dragging 3 kids to an appointment, especially to offices that aren't kid friendly (most), have small rooms (many), it is an appointment where I actually need to hear what the doctor is saying (typically), or they run a couple of hours behind schedule (much more than one). I could definately use someone to cook us a meal that is low lactose (O), kiwi-free (M), peanut, egg, nut-free, etc. (Talli), low protein & low fat (Talli), and high protein & low carb (me). Meal planning is enough to want to crawl under the covers as mentioned above. ;).

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